How to Get Clear on What You Want

Most people go around in life drastically unsure of what they really want. They act like bumper cars, careening off one experience after another, usually in some sort of dysfunctional repetitive pattern. At fault is the ineffective method in which they were raised. No blame rests with the parent, however. How could it, when their parents and the parents before them had no idea how to properly raise and prepare their young?

Basically you are on your own when it comes to figuring out how best to proceed in life. Without knowing it, we have all been enrolled in The School of Hard Knocks where we learn by experiencing everything the hard way. Those people who have seldom or never considered what possibilities are open to them are the ones who deserve our utmost sympathy. They may never reach happiness in their lives, unless they have somehow lucked into involvement with business endeavors that bring them joy.

If you have never done a concerted search for clarity on some issue, first realize that it really isn’t that hard-it just requires some honest answers. First ask yourself what things in life bring you Joy? Make a list of all of the experiences that uplift you (exclude the negative things like drugs, alcohol, porno, violence, etc). Think back to childhood and the things that you naturally were attracted to. Your list could include things like playing with kids or animals, drawing, fingerpainting, making music, making up stories, sailing, rock climbing…whatever it is-and was-write it all down.

Now go over that list and pick out the top two or three things that you have continued to be interested in. If you have a huge list, break it into categories, like home, work, relationship, education. This is your LIFE we are talking about here, so don’t be stingy with yourself. Make as many lists as you need; this is all about getting clear about what you really want out of life, as opposed to what everyone thinks you should want (don’t ‘should’ on yourself).

When you have the top two or three things of each list, narrow it down a little further by contemplating how you can combine two of them. For instance, my love of always learning something new and my habit of telling everyone about such things after filtering them through my mind and experiences led me to be a radio show host and writer. My love of art and science led me to become a doctor utilizing quantum physics principles and spirituality. My ability to love and knowledge of psychology led me to my Twin Flame relationship (the other half of my true self) and helped me to realize that I don’t have to settle for whoever is offering.

Think about how each desired outcome works with the other you have picked. What can you do that combines both of them? It doesn’t have to be an easy endeavor, it just has to be something that fulfills you. If you love teaching children and music, music teacher works. If you love decorating and energy, feng shui interior design is the way to go. If you love sales and all kinds of animals but need to work fulltime or more, a pet shop might be the Cat’s Meow. For those with a violent streak who love intrigue and also have a deep sense of duty and honor, the CIA is the way to go.

Are you getting the picture of how this works? You must be absolutely honest with yourself when formulating your lists and picking the most important things from each list. Forget what everyone else says you should be doing or how you should be acting…YOU are the determiner of how your life will be, not others. It is your life to live and no one else has any business telling you how you should live it. Memorize this phrase and use it: “I know you mean well and wish the best for me…thank you”. Then shut your mouth or direct the conversation in another direction. It’s nobody’s business but yours how you have decided to live your life. If the person insists on continuing in their obtrusive busy-body manner, walk away. Eventually they will get the hint, don’t even bother trying to explain it to them. Just live your life in a manner that pleases you. That way when it’s done, you can go free of regrets.

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